Guilt

Kyliska sat up in bed staring off into the darkness. She had trouble sleeping. Tiandril was sleeping soundly next to her and didn't even move when she got up out of bed. Quietly she put on her silken robe and went to the top deck to listen to the calm water. She stood looking out towards the water, listening to the waves. For some reason the water always calmed her and let her think. The gently swaying of the ship was also comforting. She just couldn't turn her mind off. Her emotions were running strong tonight, and she could not stop them.

She sighed as her thoughts turned to Andithiel. She had barely seen or talked to him in months. Did he wonder what she was up to? Did he even think that she could possibly be up to something that didn't involve him, that she was betraying him? Silent tears started to fall down Kyli's cheeks. She didn't like to think of him as of late, because then the guilt overcame her. To the point where she didn't think she could continue her affair, and she just wanted to go to Andi and confess everything. But what would that solve? It would just break his heart. This should be a secret that she is forced to carry with her.

She did think of stopping her affair with Ti though. Yes it was fun and exciting and he treated her really well, but was it worth it? Was it worth it to throw away everything that she had with Andi? Her one true love? Yes Kyli had been with other men but nothing like what she had with Andi. Even this fling with Ti, it was mostly physical. Yes there were some feelings there but nothing like what she felt for Andi. Really she wanted to feel needed and loved, and Andi was pushing her away at the same time that Ti was pursuing her, so she fell under Ti's spell. He was telling her everything she needed to hear, and showing her complete and utter affection. Was that a good enough reason to betray Andi though? In a moment of weakness, she threw everything away. Well no, not yet. Andi didn't need to find out, she could stop seeing Ti and try to make her relationship with Andi work.

As if she were speaking aloud she suddenly felt arms being wrapped around her and also a nice warm blanket. She smiled as she leaned back into muscular arms. "Kyli, what are you doing out here, it is freezing!" Tiandril said.

"Oh Ti, it is not cold!" she started as she slightly shivered. "Ok, well maybe just a little. I just couldn't sleep so I came up here so I wouldn't disturb you. I just cannot seem to turn my thoughts off tonight."

Tiandril hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "It is alright Kyli. I have had nights like that as well. I will stay up here with you if you would like"

Kyliska shook her head. "No that is alright Ti, I kind of just want to be alone right now, I'm alright though no need to worry."

"As you wish, I am still tired anyway but I was worried about where you went. Try to come back to bed soon." Tiandril yawned and then went back below deck. Kyli looked after him. How did she make such a mess of things? She needed to start making some serious decisions, and soon before this whole situation gets out of hand.