Journal Entry, September 8, 2010

A lot has been going on lately. I don't even know why I'm writing in here. I do not even know how much to trust you with my secrets! I'm glad some issues were resolved though such as Biara being out of jail, and she is friends with Hauk again! I am no longer in the middle of their dispute! Also Sirian is cured! I knew that spell was a bad idea but he begged me, I couldn't say no. I know it didn't work out how he had wanted, him forgetting me completely and me forgetting him, but everything seems ok now. We are in a good place it seems. I don't know where this will go, I do not even know him that well. I haven't trusted him with all of my secrets. There are some that only a few know. I would like to keep it that way.

If this secret were to get out, it would be the death of me. No one would look at me the same way again. I would be ruined. I know some would not care so much but there are other s who would never talk to me again, and I do not know if I could bear that. Especially now I need my friends and what family I have left to be on my side. I just hope that this stays hidden until or if I even want people to know.

I had a great time fighting the Alliance last night at least! And then being with Sirian last night was also a joy. I feel lonely when he is not around. Is this yet another addiction that I have? The alcohol, the magic, drugs, men, it is all an addiction I suppose. But what is wrong with that anyway? Ahhh journal I must be going now. Thanks for listening as always.